My friend “Terry” recently shared a story with me that is a great reminder that what may be a common experience for healthcare professionals can be terrifying to the patient. Terry said that her brother had an uncontrollable nose bleed. He and his wife had been to two ERs and had been discharged both times only to return a third time because the bleeding wouldn’t stop. Because they weren’t taken seriously, her brother asked Terry to go with them for their third visit—the second time to one of the ERs they’d already visited.
Terry’s brother and his wife were terrified. This wasn’t just a simple nosebleed—it was a gusher, and they couldn’t get it to stop for hours. Terry could tell by the look on their faces, and especially his face, that they were worried.
Staff May Know They’ll Be Okay…
The staff weren’t concerned. In fact, they were fairly nonchalant about the whole thing and, for some time, they left the three of them sitting in an ER room while they attended to an elderly patient across the hall. They even came in a few times to take out a piece of equipment or some supplies from his room.
When the ENT finally arrived, he too was fairly nonchalant. He was able to stem the blood flow and determine that her brother had a ruptured artery that would require surgery. Nothing new to the doc. He’d seen such situations many times before.
But They May Not…
But…it was the first time Terry’s brother had experienced the situation and he was understandably frightened.
I’ve had the same type of experience myself when I unexpectedly (and unwillingly) became a patient with a frightening diagnosis. In my case, though, the nurse was very understanding of my frame of mind. I remember breathing a sigh of relief when the admitting nurse said, “I know you are a nurse, but I want you to be able to be a patient for a while. So I am going to talk to you like I would any other patient going through this difficult time and start with some very simple steps.”
She was spot on. I needed simple explanations and next steps and she gave me permission to listen with a learner’s ears. Just what I needed.
Those who have been in healthcare for many years have the understandable potential to forget that the experiences they have frequently aren’t commonplace for those they treat. You may have dealt with dozens—maybe hundreds—of severe allergic reactions, cardiac bypass surgeries, joint replacements, etc., etc. But for most of your patients and their families, it’s probably the first time. And they are terrified.
I learned this lesson early in my career when doing nurse triage. A mother presented with her infant who had a fever of 102. This was the woman’s first baby so she was understandably scared. The nurse doing intake said, “Well it’s not like this is an emergency.” To which the mother replied, “It is to me.” It was a lesson I’ll never forget.
Responding From the Patient’s Point of View
Always keep in mind that your patients don’t have the same experience, insights, and understanding that you do. What’s second nature to you is likely unfamiliar, and even scary to them. Approach every patient encounter as a new one and focus on what they need to know, even if you already know it—and know they’ll be okay.
Comfort them. Explain to them. Keep it simple. Be empathetic. Try to treat each patient encounter as if it’s brand new.
Tags: empathy in healthcare, patient communication, Patient Experience, PX, understanding patient needs
