In fact, it’s better if you don’t!
I was working with a manager recently who was completely overwhelmed. Every time someone on her team came to her with a question, she’d drop everything to solve it. Every problem landed on her desk. Every decision had to go through her. She was exhausted. Her team was dependent. And nothing was getting done.
I asked her: “How important is it for you to have all the answers?”
She looked at me like I was crazy. “That’s my job. I’m the manager.”
No. That’s not your job.
Your job isn’t to have all the answers. It’s to ask good questions and to know what’s on the minds of your people. It’s to help them grow and use critical thinking skills. In an AI world, fostering critical thinking skills is vital.
When Having All the Answers Backfires
Here’s what I see all the time: Leaders who present themselves as having all the answers put themselves in a bind. They paint themselves into a corner. Because if you want to pretend you have all the answers, people will sense it. And it can diminish trust in a heartbeat.
Think about it. When was the last time you worked for someone who acted like they knew everything?
Did you trust them more—or less? Most likely less. Because you knew they were faking it. You knew there were things they didn’t know but wouldn’t admit. They could not be vulnerable enough to say three essential words, “I don’t know.”
And that erodes trust faster than almost anything else.
The Coaching Approach
Here’s what I teach leaders: Excellence in leadership really comes down to being proficient at asking the right questions.
When somebody comes to you with a problem, you may know the answer. But really, the best thing to do, is probe in a blameless, psychologically safe manner. That will help people develop critical thinking – that’s what good leaders are going to do. Help that person come up with the answer.
And then encourage them: “Yeah, that sounds like a great idea. That’s really solid.” And encourage them to get out there and do it.
A great leader is going to build up their people, not try to be the rock star all the time.
Because when you give people the answer, here’s what happens:
- They learn to depend on you.
- They stop thinking for themselves.
- They don’t develop problem-solving skills.
- They keep coming back to you for every little thing.
- You become the bottleneck.
But when you ask questions that help them find the answer themselves:
- They develop critical thinking skills.
- They gain confidence.
- They take ownership.
- They stop needing you to solve everything.
- You free yourself up to actually lead.
Believe me: when you stop focusing on being “the expert,” you’ll begin developing experts among your team members. It’s incredibly freeing.
The Power of Vulnerability
Here’s something else leaders need to understand: There are times when you genuinely don’t have the answer. Organizations are going through rapid change. People are asking questions you don’t have answers to.
One of the most powerful things a leader can do is to put themselves into a little bit of vulnerability and say: “I don’t have the answers. But here’s what I can promise you: When I have that information, I promise to share it.”
That builds trust.
Because people aren’t stupid. They know when you’re faking it. They know when you’re pretending to have answers you don’t actually have. But when you’re honest? When you admit you don’t know but commit to finding out?
That’s leadership.
Asking the Right Questions
So what does it actually look like to lead without having all the answers? It means asking good questions. Questions like:
- “What do you think we should do?”
- “What have you tried so far?”
- “If you could solve this any way you wanted, what would you do?”
- “What’s stopping you from moving forward?”
- “What resources would you need to make this work?”
- “You already know this—what does your gut tell you?”
And then when they give you their thinking, encourage them: “That’s a really solid approach. I think you’ve got this. Go ahead and run with it.” You’re not abdicating responsibility. You’re developing people. You’re helping them see that they already have what they need.
They just needed to think it through.
Start asking better questions. Start building up your people instead of trying to be the rock star all the time.
Because your job isn’t to know everything. Your job is to help your team think, grow, and solve problems on their own.
That’s what great leaders do.
Tags: coaching, communication skills, effective leadership, employee development, healthcare leadership, leadership development
