There’s a saying you’ve probably heard: “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”
That’s particularly true in healthcare. Think about the typical patient/physician interaction. The patient comes in with a problem or concern. The doctor—who is highly educated—spews forth a lot of clinical information and terms that are accurate and relevant, but often hard (if not impossible) for patients to fully comprehend.
Especially if they don’t already have a relationship. Or if the physician hasn’t demonstrated in some meaningful way that they care about the patient.
A Tough Transition
I’m currently working with a group of interventional radiologists with advanced training in endovascular procedures. They are all highly intelligent experts in their field. Prior to this, however, they spent most of their careers analyzing images and communicating primarily with other physicians. They had little to no need to talk directly with patients.
But now, highly trained in complex endovascular procedures, they have very different interactions. Now they’re having to sit face-to-face with patients to discuss fibroid tumors, varicose veins, prostate issues, or hemorrhoids.
This can be a tough transition when they’re accustomed to talking doctor-to-doctor. They’re used to communicating in medical terminology, providing precise diagnoses, and outlining highly technical treatment protocols. Now, they’re making the shift to talking doctor-to-patient and facing a fundamental truth:
Information alone isn’t enough. They need to connect emotionally with their patients while speaking in plain, clear terms that the patient will understand. And kudos to this group for making the commitment to improve communication skills that help engage and build trust.
Start with Heart
There’s an approach I teach when helping providers become more attuned to empathy. Start with the heart: empathy and emotion. Then move to the head: information the patient needs. Then back to the heart: compassion and a clear path forward.
Patients don’t make appointments with providers because they feel great. Even if they’re not in the midst of a medical crisis, they’re presenting with a problem and concerns. They’re worried. They’re scared. They’re looking for solutions. And many of them have choices of where they will go.
If you dive right into definitions, possible diagnoses, and treatment protocols, patients get overwhelmed. But if you start with empathy, you open the door to understanding.
- “That must be really difficult.”
- “That sounds tough, especially with three little kids at home.”
- “I can understand why that’s concerning.”
Any one of these simple statements can change everything about how the patient feels about you. They signal that you see the whole person in front of you, not just the condition. They show you understand that this isn’t just a clinical problem—they’re sharing a human experience.
Seek First to Understand
Stephen Covey talked about seeking first to understand before being understood. That phrase actually comes from the Prayer of St. Francis, dating back to the 1300s: “Grant that I may not so much seek to be understood as to understand.”
This wisdom holds true centuries later.
If you start with empathy, you really can’t go wrong. Seek first to understand.
When a patient tells you about their symptoms, resist the urge to immediately launch into clinical explanations. Instead, acknowledge what they’re experiencing. Show that you know them. Show that you care. Then—and only then—move into the information they need.
What Patients Really Need
Patients need more than just clinical information. They need:
- To feel seen and heard. Not as a case, not as a diagnosis, but as a person.
- Information in clear language. Not medical jargon. Not six-syllable words. Plain English that they can understand and remember.
- A path forward. In healthcare, we’re terrible at this. We often don’t even clearly tell patients when the appointment is over. They sit in exam rooms wondering, “What’s next? Am I supposed to leave? What do I do now?”
We owe patients clarity. We owe them direction. We owe them a sense of what happens next. But first and foremost, we owe them empathy.
Maya Angelou wrote that people won’t remember what you said, but they’ll always remember how you made them feel.
In healthcare, this couldn’t be more true.
Your patients won’t remember your credentials. They won’t remember the impressive terminology you used. But they will remember how you made them feel. Start with the heart.
